Jail Cells to End Zones: How I Tackled Life's Toughest Opponents

 Every path to redemption begins with a single moment of clarity. For me, that moment came at 18 years old, when I realized my position as a gang vice president gave me power over life and death – power that would inevitably lead me to prison, death, or a lifetime on the run.

My journey took me from the streets of Montreal to a football field in Florida, where a perceptive coach saw beyond my athletic abilities to the character underneath. But when an ankle injury and subsequent self-defense incident landed me in prison for 17 months, I faced the crushing uncertainty of not knowing when – or if – I would ever be released.

Behind bars, I discovered that violence was currency, respect had to be earned through strength, and structure existed even in chaos. I maintained my sanity through rigorous workouts, psychological readings, and hours spent connecting with the outside world by phone. These disciplines weren't just survival tactics – they were unknowingly preparing me for what came next.

The call that changed everything came via Snapchat, of all places – a professional football coach offering me a tryout with the Saskatchewan Roughriders. With nothing but determination and support from my mother and partner, I fought through physical challenges, financial hardships, and the lingering stigma of my criminal record to earn my place on the team.

Standing in a $350 million stadium where fans knew my name felt surreal after months in a cell with rats and mice. This stark contrast taught me that our darkest moments don't define our futures, but rather prepare us for opportunities we can't yet imagine. Everyone has a unique path – accepting and embracing that path, even when it looks nothing like what we envisioned, is how we find purpose.

Whether you're incarcerated, struggling with addiction, or simply feeling lost, know that your current circumstances aren't your final destination. Your experiences – even the painful ones – can become the foundation for meaningful impact. With structure and will, you can transform your life and light the way for others still finding their path.

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction and Purpose
• 2:16 Life as a Gang Member
• 11:20 Arrest and Incarceration Journey
• 24:19 Finding Structure and Sanity in Prison
• 33:52 Organized Crime and Unexpected Lessons
• 39:00 The Call That Changed Everything
• 48:12 Struggles of Becoming a Pro Athlete
• 59:03 Football Reality and Team Experience
• 1:05:00 Life Lessons and Final Message

Transcript

Jonathan: 0:00

I want to say thank you to the listeners who took the time out of their day for being here with me to listen to my stories, and hopefully it's going to have an impact on your own life. The purpose of this podcast is to be able to give some type of hope or purpose to those who don't have is because, as I got older, I realized that only so many people out of the billions of people we have on this planet actually had a meaningful life enough that if their stories is shared with the world, they could have a meaningful impact that could help the next person become a better version of themselves. My goal is to just go through some of the experience I've had, from jail to playing professional football, to working in a management position with psychologists, to doing close protection with high-profile clients and celebrities. My goal is to be able to put all my experience together and be able to share that with the world. So hopefully, someone who feels like me when I was in some of the worst part of my life, for someone who feels like they're in the worst place they could possibly be in their life, that there's hope and opportunities for them and with the right structure and will you can achieve pretty much anything you want, and let's dive right into it. So I have my background. Currently, 30 years old, I currently do close protection for high profile clients. From doing clothes protection, I've worked in nightclubs as a bouncer. I was director of transportation for a music festival at the Overwatch Transportation for a music festival at the Overwatch Transportation for entertainers such as Deadmau5, rich the Kid Nav, don Tolliver and so on. I have worked with psychologists in a management role for the past three, four years. I've decided to move on to my business and just focus on my security company. I have played professional football as well, for the Saskatchewan Rough Riders in 2017.

Jonathan: 3:20

And prior to that, I was want to get into the story of how I got arrested, but before that, I want to kind of give you guys a little bit of a background of where I was at the time of my arrest. Let's backtrack back to when I was 18 years old. I lived in Montreal. I just got done playing with my local football team. I just turned 18, I'm in Montreal and at that time, I was a full-time gang member. At that time, I was vice president of an unknown gang and some of the perks that I had from being a vice president was leadership, control and armed. I was very well armed as an 18-year-old and I would say, fast forward about six months in, I had to go see one of my friends in a neighborhood that is completely crip. Neighborhood that is completely crip. For those who don't know what that means between the blood and the crips, the blood is the color red, of course, for the bloods and the crips are the blues. We have that in Montreal. The neighborhood where one of my friends lived was a neighborhood that was crip. I had to take the subway to get there.

Jonathan: 5:05

When I arrive to my station, I'm wearing one of the warmest, if not the warmest jacket in the world, which I believe is the Canada Goose Expedition, and I had it in a red color. The moment I arrive out of the subway, I have about between six and seven guys approach me. Tell me take your jacket off, fam. Do you know where you are? But what these guys didn't understand is that I knew where I was and I knew that if I was in such neighborhood, I was prepared. Well, I have about 22 rounds in my pocket. Well, I have about 22 rounds in my pocket. This kind of gives you guys an idea of where I was at when I was 18. Now my message was very clear to these guys you can try me if you want to, but it's not going to end well for none of you. And I just put my hand in my pocket and sent them a visual message of I'm armed and if you guys attack me, I will have no choice but to defend myself.

Jonathan: 6:13

The situation did not escalate past that. They decided to just go their way. I went my way. I went my way. But it did something to me that day. That day I realized that I had the power of life and death. I felt like such power comes with great responsibilities and that if the situation would have de-escalated that day, I wouldn't be here today to explain you guys my journey. What it did to me is that it made me realize that being part of a gang and having all this power over life does not end well. It either ends up in jail or end up dead or on the run for the rest of your life.

Jonathan: 7:14

And somehow I'm someone who's very intuitive and somehow I kind of had a vision that if I did not choose a better path for myself, my life was not going to end well and I started doing researches on how I can play football in the United States while being 19 and over. And, just to kind of make it briefly, I told my mom about my project. I told her I didn't want to be part of this life anymore. I want to play football. Didn't want to be part of this life anymore, I want to play football. I have a purpose in life and my purpose is to be a professional football player. And my mom you know as tough financially as we were at the time she said she's willing to take that sacrifice and take a loan and take me to Florida. I told her mom just get me there, I will find a school. Like I will do the leg work, I will phone call the schools, I will talk to the coaches, and I did that for about two, three weeks. I had a few schools lined up for me, but I really didn't have anything going on for me. It was really like the biggest leap of faith.

Jonathan: 8:51

And after spending three weeks in Florida, I basically went out of opportunities. I ran out of schools, ran out of teams, I ran out of schools, ran out of teams and I was about to leave on a Monday to go back to Montreal, back to Canada, and on that Friday I had an interview with this school, which was Palm Beach Lakes High School in West Palm Beach. I spoke briefly to the principal. He told me he played in the NFL, he would love to meet me. And you know we go to school. I go to school with my mom and as I go to the school, you know, like my regular I'm just a regular kid right Open the door for my mom, you know, pull the seat back so she can sit down. I talk briefly to the principal and he basically tells me that they don't think they'll be able to make something happen because I have to leave in three days. But they will be in contact with me.

Jonathan: 10:00

Now, fast forward, I would say. An hour later I get a phone call from the head coach telling me that he was watching me throughout my whole interaction with the principal, with staff getting in, getting out, opening the door for my mom and, you know, taking back the seat and helping her sit down, and he's like we need men like you around here and he is going to do everything in his power to have me play on that team. Well, I want to give his flowers. As I'm on a public platform, I want to say thank you to Coach Sneed for giving me a chance. I want to say thank you to Willie Sneed, the fourth, for also practicing and training with me while he was in the NFL. At the time he was playing for the Cleveland Browns with Johnny Manziel, which was a pretty big deal. They helped me become the man that I am today.

Jonathan: 11:03

That day after my phone call with the coach, I was practicing with the team. The next day I was in the school. The next week Now, fast forward to I believe at the time we're in May, around the end of the school year, fast forward to October, third game of the season I fractured my ankle, my only season in the US. After going through all those training camps left and right, from Alabama to Western Kentucky, to Florida State, you name it, state, you name it I traveled the whole summer with my school to these universities and do training camps and to rectify. We did not go to Florida State, but we definitely went to Alabama real tight After I fractured my ankle. I didn't actually believe that I fractured my ankle. I kept playing that game. It got worse. The next day I flew back home to go get some treatments and x-rays and figure out what was wrong with my foot. I found that it was fractured. I found out that my season was pretty much over. I wouldn't be able to walk for three months and I would have to relearn how to walk after three months. For three months and I would have to relearn how to walk after three months, I go back to the border to fly back to finish my school year because I'm like you know football is over. But you know, I'm still going to support my team. I'm still going to be on the sideline, I'm still going to help the guys with the book. I'm still going to be a member of this organization and support my team in any possible way. You're injured. You're still part of the team.

Jonathan: 12:48

I was declined at the border to go to US because I didn't have a visa to be in the United States. Mind you, I was there since May. I was in high school. I had two transcripts from the previous year. That year I visited about 10 universities, did about 15 training camps, from training camp at Cincinnati University or the Nike camp in Miami. I was pretty much as active in football as you possibly could be. I know a lot of coaches remember me during those days because I was six foot Canadian and I ran a four, four, four, four five. So that was pretty rare at the time and I was around 200 pounds. Why this is so relevant is because after I got denied at the border, I was now back in Canada without being able to go back to school.

Jonathan: 13:55

Within those three months I decided to go on a date with a woman who you know. While I was playing football in Florida she was reaching out to me. Then I'm back in the country now. I'm available, you know, and I was sitting there all the time and we decided to go to a bar. But mind you, I'm within my two months that I'm not supposed to walk. I'm limping. I left my crutches in the car. As we approached the bar, the lady that I'm with realizes her ex is there and he's drunk. I also recognize a few people in that group. So as we walk in inside the bar and I'm starting to feel a little bit uncomfortable because I'm like these guys are there, your ex is outside, I'm not sure what might happen, so I decide to leave. She makes it outside before me as I'm leaving and saying bye to the owner.

Jonathan: 14:47

As I walk outside, this is all I'm seeing X grabs her and throws her on a vehicle and starts, you know, try to punch her and stuff, and I, you know I'm trying to get to him as I'm limping, as I told him to stop. You know, like just dude, just stop what you're doing. He turned around, hit me, then pulled out a knife, tried to stab me. We fought for the knife. He ended up getting stabbed. There was no cameras. There's some witnesses, there was independent witnesses, there was independent witnesses and long story short, the story was that he attacked me. That's what he told the cops. He attacked me and I got a knife out and apparently I chased him and stabbed him. Apparently, our independent witness which is someone I don't know, they don't know someone who was in the parking lot saw a black male with a red Canada goose getting jumped by three Latin-looking persons or Latinos, I don't know how you put it together.

Jonathan: 16:01

After the event, I was living at a friend's house and did not know the cops was looking for me until I got arrested. It was pretty much straight out of a movie. The person who ratted me out, which was a close friend of mine, said that myself was going to rob an armored vehicle with motorcycles and assault rifles and Jeep Trackhawks and it was like a scene out of a movie. But all the charges would drop from a couple days later. But initially they were all added on top of all my previous charges. They denied my bail because they believed that I was a flight risk because I was going to school four months ago in Florida.

Jonathan: 16:56

Now, without doing any type of verification, without calling the border, this was their conclusion. The border, this was their conclusion. They have decided that me, jonathan, who at the time was 21, I don't have a criminal record as an adult, first time being arrested I'm denied bail because I'm a flight risk that might go to United States of America and run from the law. And if you guys remember from me talking a couple minutes ago, I just mentioned that I got denied entry in United States because I didn't have a visa. Therefore, it was impossible. I didn't have a visa. Therefore, it was impossible, literally impossible, for me to cross the border from Canada to the US. Yet this was the main ground the.

Jonathan: 18:09

Can you just imagine for a second, a kid who decided to change his life, go play football, gets himself in a self-defense conflict between two parties. He say. She say I have to spend 17 months in the worst possible place that mankind has created to put mankind. I was there. The reason why it was so tough was because I actually had no clue when I was going to be released from prison. They didn't give me a date, I didn't have a sentence until 15 months in. So for 15 months I'm incarcerated in the system with the worst possible criminal of my city because I defended myself, because they think I'm flight risk. So during those 17 months I had so many challenges. Not knowing when you're getting out of jail is defeating. It's defeating because you are put in a cage where they would not even put a dog yet because you have breaking one of the millions of rules that we have created for you to make your life harder. We will put you in a cage with the baddest and the worst dogs there is in society. And when you get out of there, if you get out of there, if you get out of there, of course we want you to reform yourself. We want you to be better than when you got in. Please make it make sense.

Jonathan: 20:18

Not only I was put in the maximum unit with people that were there for murder, attempt murder, kidnapping the most violent crimes. That wasn't the unit I was in, but there as a kid among grown men, and it didn't take long for me to make my mark. It took about, I think, a week. I fought the biggest and baddest mother ever in the unit. In the unit and it was over something very dumb. You know, it's a lesson that I was taught very early in my time incarcerated that violence wins period.

Jonathan: 21:06

Whoever's the most violent will most likely be in a position of leadership, because in prison, as much as they showcase, there's guards, there's walls, there's nurses. You know there's a warden. There actually is no structure. They put you in a cage, they close the cage and they say here's food, give us the food back, here's more food, give us the food back. It's time to sleep, it's time to wake up. Oh, we're just going to walk around and make sure y'all still alive, but that's about it. Their job of these correctional officers is to make sure you're alive, because as long as you are alive while incarcerated they make all this money. But we're going to get into that, you know, a bit later.

Jonathan: 22:04

Now some of the toughest things I had to deal with, like I said, was I had a fight. I had a fight with you know big, strong, tall Russian guy who woke up every morning. He ran around the range and it was really my fault. I decided to smoke some cannabis and it was very strong and I lost my headphones. After I lost my headphones, I started accusing people of taking my shit and I told someone that my headphones are gone. I'm just going to take whoever else's headphone I did. I took someone's headphones from their table and just was like, yeah, that's mine now and if somebody got a problem about it they could say something about it.

Jonathan: 23:02

At that time, when I made that decision, I had not personally experienced any type of violence in jail. Like why is everyone so quiet? Why is everyone so chill here? Like you know what I mean. Like they make jail seem like it's so dangerous and you know if you drop the soap you might get in trouble and you know people are getting stabbed every day. Well, I sure found out that day.

Jonathan: 23:27

Whoever's headphones I took, his friend said this black guy over there took it. And I responded with oh, so you were a snitch, huh. He said oh, I'm a snitch. Okay, let me talk to you in the cell real quick and I'm just like, well, shit, all right, what's so interesting that this guy is going to tell me that he needs to be? You know, one-on-one with me in the cell. You know I was very naive that day I got into the cell, you know. But I was very naive that day. I got into the cell and you said you called me a snitch. I'm like, yes, I did. And he headbutted me so hard that I literally snapped out of myself and became somebody else and I responded with so many punches and elbows and knees he had to tell me stop. He said like literally stop, stop, like stop, I'm good. He was very bloody. There's blood all over my cell. And as I'm getting out of my cell and as I'm getting out of my cell because we're in my cell I see about four faces stacked in the glass door of my cell. Basically higher ups in the range were looking at the fight to see how I was going to hold up.

Jonathan: 24:54

The next day they made me president of all immigrants Black, yellow, green. If you're not white, you basically are under my authority. That day I understood the structure of jail. I didn't get it until that day. So I understood there was a structure. I understood there was a structure among inmates. I understood that there was a committee and most units there's a committee, there's a president, there's a vice president. Their job is to make sure that inmates don't do riots, make alcohol because alcohol makes people violent Found that out real quick in jail and that we live somewhat in peace and coexist somewhat with some form of peace with the correctional officers. That's mainly it. Everything else is, in my opinion, is extracurriculum. So as a president you do have a few duties, but it's mainly the trafficking and the violence and the fights and all the stuff happening that you pretty much have to oversee. Make sure that it stays controlled, but that's mainly the job of the president, but that's mainly the job of the president.

Jonathan: 26:16

From there on my journey, changed from. You know time sucks. I'm not doing anything to I'm waking up and you know I got meetings. I have to meet with my committee. I have to make sure everything runs smooth. I have to make sure that if there's any type of trafficking happening in the unit, well, the traffic is shared fairly between the ethnicities. So if the whites have drugs, well, they need to give the blacks drugs so we don't rob them and vice versa.

Jonathan: 26:50

I've learned a lot of those rules that they don't talk about, you know, on the news about, you know in movies. They make it seem like jail is just this dangerous hellhole where you go there you're dead, you're getting stabbed, you're going to drop the soap and so on. So that was kind of the main challenges was not knowing what I was going to get out. Having to deal with all the stuff I had to deal with. You know, from being a president wanting freedom. Wanting freedom was just so important to me at that point that everything else didn't matter. How did I keep my sanity in jail was fairly simple, but it had a lot to do with socialization. I realized a lot that over time.

Jonathan: 27:45

One of the cons of being incarcerated because there are pros about being incarcerated from learning life lesson, boundaries, rules, respect, authority One of the cons was that you could be transferred any day of the week, but also they can add anyone to your unit any day of the week. You're also isolated and you don't get to see, you know or have any type of relationship because you know incarcerated right. It's very tough on your relationships outside. It's very tough on your family. If you're someone who's very close with your parents, it's very tough on your partner. If you're in a relationship you know I have a girlfriend, wife, kids it's very tough on the kids. That's the hardest part of being in prison. Everything else can be managed Because leave humans for a certain period of time in a certain environment. They're literally just going to adapt, get comfortable in that bad environment.

Jonathan: 28:54

Like I was saying, one of the few ways that I kept my sanity was working out. I worked out almost every day, if not twice a day, to the point where they would call me the football player. That was my nickname. In jail I made football programs. I made sorry, not football programs, but I made gym programs for inmates. I made gym programs for inmates I made gym programs for for some of the ceos. Because I spent that much time in the gym and because everybody called me the football player, my charges were related to self-defense. The ceos didn't really look at me as the guy who robbed the bank, I mean, or the guy who committed the bank you know what I mean or the guy who committed murder. It was more like man. This kid defended himself. The law sucks, but he's here and you know. If we need anything from the world of fitness, we can ask them, which they did, and I, you know, respected that entirely.

Jonathan: 29:55

I also spent a lot of time reading. I had a lot of books on behavior psychology anything from Robert Greene from 48 Laws of Power, the Art of Seduction and I spent a lot of time on the phone. I spent some days, three hours, four hours on the phone. I believe that's what kept me sane as my body was in jail. My brain was outside, I was able to communicate with my friends, I was able to be on social media All that through the phone, of course. Keep people updated and keep myself updated of what's going on in the outside world. A lot of people don't realize it.

Jonathan: 30:40

It's very easy to be isolated from the world while being incarcerated. You get the news through the phone, through newspaper or through TV. If all of these three things are disconnected or are not working, or the jail is on shutdown, for whatever reason, you are literally disconnected from the world. You have no clue what's going on. That was very tough, because they only allow certain books in a unit. They only allow certain books In a unit. You know, let's say I'm someone who likes to spend time on the phone. There might be five phones, six phones for 60 inmates, 65 inmates. In the unit that had the most phone, or I believe they had 10 phones, there was 195 inmates. So sometimes calling was like very difficult.

Jonathan: 31:45

It was very difficult to be able to get an opportunity to be able to be on the phone with your loved ones, and it was the way for me to keep my sanity was through the phone, a million percent, because I could be on the phone, listen to music, listen to the news, listen to a video, listen. I could listen to a whole movie while on the phone. Just tell my friend, bro, just play me this movie that just came out, right. So I want to say thank you to Brandon. By the way, I want to give him his flowers. Hopefully it goes public very soon Because he was the person that I was on the phone with every day when I was incarcerated. He would call people for me. He would stay on the phone with. Every day I was incarcerated, he would call people for me. He would stay on the phone for me, and sometimes it would be like five hours, six hours straight. He would stay on the phone and, yeah, thank you, brandon Gage, thank you.

Jonathan: 32:57

Jail had pros. It was not all bad days besides the fact that it was mostly bad days but there was a certain brotherhood that was built from being around certain inmates. I got transferred at some point in a range that was Hells Angels affiliated and it's almost like I went from the jungle to the corporate world overnight, because I went from an environment where violence is king. Somebody tries you, you gotta run a fade, you gotta throw hands. It's an environment where guys don't fight, guys don't even yell at each other, guys don't insult each other. Guys are just so laid back. They just wanna work out, talk to their wives and that's it. Do their time.

Jonathan: 33:55

I've learned a lot about being around older men who have been in the organized crime life for long periods of time. I've learned so much about being around these guys, from decisions to make friends, to pick positions to put yourself in and sacrifices to make. Because some of these guys, you know I did time. You know, when I was in that range, I believe I had some mobsters with me. I started training this mobster who was my roommate. I made him lose around 35, 40 pounds and you know he was explaining to me a lot about.

Jonathan: 34:34

You know the life, the mob life, and how it's just such a brotherhood that is so tight, it's a family that is so tight for the past 50, 60, 70 years that it is very tough to be a regular shmegular guy and not want to participate or be part of something that is so big right. It's like having this badge on you saying like bro, I'm a mobster. You know what I had to do to be a mobster? I make one phone call and your day is horrible, your day is done. I understood the pride behind that. I understood the pride behind that and it was sad for me to see how organized, how successful the mobsters and the bikers were when my people are shooting at each other, fighting each other over the smallest things, over the dumbest things.

Jonathan: 35:39

Right, I grew up in a neighborhood that had Crips and Bloods. Well, when I was 15, I made my own gang with Crips and Bloods because I didn't understand why our own people would fight each other over a color. To me, it just didn't make sense. You're telling me that I'm going to kill my own cousin because he's wearing blue today. It just didn't make sense to me, right? So that followed me throughout my life and throughout you know jail and incarceration, where it was very easy for me to be around such organized leaders in you know, the organized crime industry, because I'm not a guy who talks a lot. I like to learn, I'm very respectful.

Jonathan: 36:35

Like I said, I know my position. I knew that at the time I was the athlete in the range or the unit, I was the guy who worked out, you know. So I would work out with the guys, you know I would start helping them, you know, get their body slowly back to normal, right. And I made some contacts, made some friends. I was you friends. It was a great experience for that sense, because if it wasn't for prison, I would not meet these kind of people, you would not have these kinds of conversations because they don't have to, they don't have to mingle with a guy like me, they don't have to talk to a guy like me because their organization is just so set in stone, it's just so successful. Everyone has their position, everyone respects their position, everybody respects the authority. No one is challenging their superiors, no one is challenging the system, their superiors, no one is challenging the system. And that to me, you know, coming from a background of football player. I was just so amazed by that because you know us black folks, you know where I came from. We did not know such organization. It was like a myth, almost so.

Jonathan: 38:04

Finally, you know, after 17 months of being incarcerated, I'm found guilty, after, you know, spending a lot of time in trial after having a detective trying to intimidate my witness, which I don't know if that was normal, but it definitely happened I spent two months sentence before three Supreme Court judges decided to suspend my sentence. Once they suspended my sentence, I got released from prison immediately and I was done with the province. I was done with the city. A few other situations happened afterwards that made me just want to leave the city completely. How did I leave the city and where did I go? Well, everything changed for me when one day, I get a video call on Snapchat. Shout out to Snapchat. I get a video call from one of my buddies and you know, when you're picking up the phone from one of your friends, you're like bro, what's up? Like you know, foolish, right. You're picking up the phone from one of your friends. You're like bro, what's up? Like you know, foolish, right? Like not picking up the phone. Like you're talking to your boss.

Jonathan: 39:21

Well, the head coach of the Saskatchewan Rough Riders, which is a professional football team in the Canadian Football League, asked about me. Ask about me because one of his recruiters saw me playing football in West Palm Beach a year and a half ago, two years ago. He asked about me and asked where was I now? And somehow one of the players on the team was like well, I know this guy. One of the players on the team was like well, I know this guy. He was playing in Florida and brought me and four of my other teammates to come play football with him in Florida. And the coach asked him if he had any ways to reach me. He said yeah, I have a Snapchat. Well, I'll tell you this. Chris Jones, the head coach of the Saskatchewan Warfighters, who is now believed the assistant defensive coordinator with Bill Belichick, who was the head coach of the Patriots and some college team in the US.

Jonathan: 40:28

Now Coach Jones decided that he was not going to call me in no traditional phone call and send me no emails. He was going to call me on Snapchat and let me know what's up right away, ask me if I was healthy, ask me if I still wanted to play football and I just said yes, yes, yes to all the questions. It was a lie. I was not healthy, but I wanted to play football. I knew that. I just haven't played football in so long. Right, I've just been. You know workouts in jail, but not really football workouts. There's no grass in jail, it's gravel and metal everywhere.

Jonathan: 41:13

Now they flew me out to Saskatchewan about two weeks later. I'm thinking that you know, I've just made the team somehow. I had no clue at the time how a professional organization works in the world of sports works in the world of sports. My first day I get there, they give me a place to stay. I'm like this is great. They tell me where the stadium is. They give me a locker, like man, this is amazing. I had no clue that that exact day that I arrived I would have to actually play football. I'm not going to lie to you, I had no clue.

Jonathan: 42:07

Well, that day they made me do one-on-ones as a receiver and a running back against DBs that were playing on the team, that are trying to make the team, that have been playing on the team in the NFL, that were playing, maybe, in the NFL prior. Now they're playing here, college players, current CFL players. I had to compete against all of that in one day and somehow I dominated. I remember I totally dominated that day. It's not that I had nothing else to give, but it was more like I have everything to prove. There's nothing else to me but this. I have everything to prove. There's nothing else to me but this. This is where I am. I'm a football player.

Jonathan: 43:07

So the next day made me realize the difference between a professional athlete and just a regular person. I was exhausted, I was tired, my body could not move, as the first day and I pulled my hamstring. Pulled my hamstring on the second day. I was out for three months and the coaches told me we're going to give you a place to stay. You're going to have to get yourself ready for the season Start in September, maybe October, I believe at the time the season starts in August. You're going to get a place to stay, but you're going to have to feed yourself. You're going to have to get yourself to practice and you're going to have to get yourself to practice and you're going to have to work on this, this leg of yours and this hamstring that you pulled.

Jonathan: 44:04

Challenge accepted, I can tell you guys, this was one of the toughest time of my life. Let me tell y'all why it was so tough was one of the toughest times of my life. Let me tell y'all why it was so tough. It was tough because, to the world, I became a professional athlete. I'm on social media right, I have my own locker, I'm with the players, I'm at the stadium. I had access to all these resources. But financially it was a struggle and I tried my best to change my financial situation by applying to so many jobs but due to still being in court of appeal, I still had aggravated assault attached to my name. So when the jobs did interviews, they can see that I have a criminal record and that I'm a criminal on paper. Now, because I'm a criminal on paper, it don't matter if I'm a professional football player. You can't hire a criminal to work for us. So guess what? I never got a job.

Jonathan: 45:24

During the off season I was living off of my mother sending me $75, $50 to $75 a week for food, and I was living off my partner at the time. You know she was helping me from going to practice, going to stadium, going to wherever I needed to be, and I want to say, shout out to my partner at that time and my mom. So I had to budget myself on eating lots of ground beef, lots of pastas, lots of eggs every week, every week Until I made the team. So my journey to the league. Nobody actually knows it, nobody actually understand the struggle it took me to make it to training camp. Not only I didn't have enough money to actually fully fuel myself, I didn't have a car, I didn't have the finances to own my own place, and there was only so many football players that played on the team that actually lived in Regina, the city that I was in.

Jonathan: 47:05

And those players that lived in Regina, those professional athletes that lived in the city. They had their own lives. They have wives, they have houses, they have cars, they got their own gym, they got their own sponsors. Like, life is good for them. They're not going to want to mingle with me. Jonathan, who just got out of prison, that's the last thing they want to mingle with. So most players didn't really hang out with me Because I had the gel mentality.

Jonathan: 47:38

It was like, yeah, we got brotherhood, but try me and I'll fuck you up. Disrespect me and we won't squabble. Try me and I'll fuck you up. Disrespect me and we'll squabble Because, in jail, any situation with another man, if we're not happy about how the situation or the conflict of where it's heading, the tone, the aggressiveness, anything related to that conflict, we're going to go in a cell and squabble up. The only thing is I'm winning that squabble every single time. Am I proud of having all these fights in jail? No, but you don't have a choice. It's either you get walked on or you have to walk on someone else. Now, was I a bully? No, I never believe in bullying. I always believe in brotherhood and growth and team effort. Bullies are people that have big egos and they need to define their egos with people that are smaller than them by crushing them, and they usually do it in front of others. So the reaction of witnesses actually they feed off of that, you know.

Jonathan: 48:49

Now, going back to football, the budget I had was insane. Not only I had to go to my regular football practice at least once a day, but I would also go to a gym. A gym decided to give me the keys to their location and I was allowed to go to the gym whenever I want. You know, past nine o'clock, I would go to the gym at two in the morning, three in the morning, four in the morning, as long as my partner was there to take me, or, you know, if maybe I had a teammate around to take me there and I had to be consistent from going to do track and fields once a week, going to do hydrotherapy to rebuild strength in my lower back, in my quads, in my hamstring, going to football practice with all the big guys. Well, guess what? The coach decided to add another challenge to it. He tells me that because I didn't play university or college, he wants me to develop my body by playing on the junior team as well. I'm not taking too much of it because I just want to play football. It's all I have. This is all I am. I'm a football player. This is who I am.

Jonathan: 50:15

It was so hard to play for two teams at the same time, two different playbooks, two different coaches, two different coaching styles. On the professional team, I'm playing running back, but I'm also playing defensive. Back On the junior team, I am playing running back, I am playing returner, I'm playing third string quarterback, I'm playing receiver, and wherever the coach felt like he could just put me there because I would just say yes, I would not put myself in a situation to make my junior coach unhappy, because I know that the junior coach and the head coach of the professional team are buddies and if a problem happens in one field there's going to be a consequence on the other field. That's all I knew from playing on the junior team. Now, after seven months, eight months of just grinding, finding myself, putting the party life to the side, I was able to make it to training camp, which was a month long, two practice a day, about two hours per practice, plus an hour of film every day, mandatory ice tub and hot tub every day. I went from running back number five on the team to running back number two by the second week because there was a lot of injuries. They dropped me back down to running back number four, I believe. Injuries. They dropped me back down to running back number four, I believe, after the training camp was done.

Jonathan: 52:13

But it was very, very tough. From working out every day I had to create my own structure of healing myself From waking up early, doing yoga, applying magnesium oil on my muscles that were tight, rolling with the foam roller. I had a medicinal ball that I would use to move around my joints and stuff To hydration nutrition. I was trying to eat as much as possible during training camp and just be very disciplined. The hardest part for me was definitely the playbook, because I went from a high school playbook to a professional football playbook and everybody who played high school, college, nfl or CFL know that the moment you switch to professional, that playbook is thick. There's an options for every play, there's an audible for every play, there's a silent count for every play and there's a signal for every play in case the stadium is too loud. That was very tough. That was definitely the toughest part for me of playing football was that.

Jonathan: 53:35

Also, when I got my salary, my first check. When I got my first check, it was not what I was promised. It was very low. It was so low that I wouldn't be able to afford me a place to live, even if I was to save that money and I didn't have enough money to have a vehicle or fully feed myself like I should eat as a professional athlete playing at a higher level. That's how low my salary was. I almost thought about quitting the team the second day after I got paid because I was so upset. I was so upset that I've been training hard for eight, nine months here budgeting. I've been training hard for eight, nine months here budgeting, sacrificing no life, not going out to being lied to. And it's not that I was lied to, it's I was not told the truth about the budget and the position that I was in. They decided to hire me as a practice roster player. There was a certain budget related to that. You know, I was just not informed and I would have loved to be informed and kind of be mentally prepared. But you know, the salary cut.

Jonathan: 55:01

That was definitely the toughest time of playing on the team was. I'm here, I'm working four or five times harder than everybody else, yet my salary is not enough for me to go out and have steak with my partner, or I can't take out my linemen's or my o-lines to eat. You know, be like you know, guys, bro, it's been a crazy week. I had a great game last week. Bro, let me treat y'all to something, because y'all play a position that it's all about giving back to the next man next to you. I couldn't do that. So that was very tough for me financially. You know, as much as I love the brotherhood, as much as I love the experience I've had playing on that team. I believe that year we got a brand new $350 million stadium. It was an absolutely electrifying experience, experience Playing in the field. You know the signing day with the fans. It was just. It's just so unreal Because the fans in Saskatchewan love the players so much and it's like a community sport where once there's a game or once there's an event related to the Saskatchewan Rough Riders, the city will show up. So one thing's for sure Saskatchewan Rough Riders has some of the best fans in all of sports period.

Jonathan: 56:48

Things I would have loved to improve my time as a football player was just having more of a social life, making friends, learning more about players and their stories. I've played with great players. I've played with players that I see play on tv, such as vince young. I remember that year when I was playing, vince young tried to do a comeback. It was, you know, like oh my god, dude. I used to play with you on madden. I used to play with you on n. You're right next to me. That was very unreal or surreal, but yet you know when it was time to play. You know like, he's my quarterback. He's third string or fourth string. I'm fourth string, so I've learned to separate the business from friendship.

Jonathan: 57:50

But me, compared to all these other players there, I was not social media guy, I wasn't verified on social media, my name did not ring any bells, but I just came out of jail. That alone should have given me the respect that I deserved. But you're not in an environment where people just give you respect, in an environment where you have to earn it right, they don't care if you were, you know, big college superstar. You're around. You're around grown ass men and you need to act accordingly. You need to train as hard as us, if not harder. You need to compete with us, if not more, and you need to bring something to the table that is not just sport related. You know you have to do something for us, especially if you're a rookie. Make our life easier, right, as we accept you in our unit. So I've learned a lot of great things from playing around these men.

Jonathan: 58:46

Some of these guys are, you know, my friends for life and you know it was an overall. It was an overall experience that I would go through again, but I would document it. It's an experience that I would go through again, just because it felt like I had a purpose in life. It felt like as I left jail and I had no clue what I was going to do for myself, I got a direction. I had no clue what I was going to do for myself. I got a direction. That direction was football. Therefore, I started working in the field of psychology with psychologists doing course detection is we, as people, need to have goals, we need to have objectives, we need to have a path, we need to have a path.

Jonathan: 1:00:15

What this experience has brought to me is that, even in the worst possible place that you could imagine you are right now, which is either jail or worse than jail, you're in the hole. In jail, there is an opportunity for you to put all the stuff you've lived, combine it and create some form of success with it. Now that success might not look like what you've envisioned. You might not become that rapper, that career of professional athlete might not be what's waiting for you outside of these bars, but your life is not over To go from being in the hole, you know, with rats and mices, on a cold bunk bed, with a camera looking at me 24 hours a day, while also being 23 hours in my cell and having only one hour to either take a shower or call my loved ones.

Jonathan: 1:01:20

I went from that to being playing in a $350 million stadium, you know, six months later, with people asking for autographs people knew my name, people were giving me free stuff. People want to touch me because I play on this team, you know, and of course we're talking. You know, hugs and stuff Felt unreal. It felt like, after all this pain I just experienced from being incarcerated, not knowing when I'm coming out, and the multitude of injustice that I have faced myself from the Canadian justice system or American justice system, to be honest, it felt like God gave me another purpose, god gave me a new path, but when I was in jail I didn't see that. I didn't believe it Because I can't see past the bars, I can't see past the barbed wire. So I want you to know, you listener, who is still here right now. I want to say thank you, thank you for taking the time out of your day, out of your night, out of your life, to immerse yourself in a glimpse of my life, and I hope that you're in right now. There is more for you to accomplish in this world.

Jonathan: 1:03:24

In this world, you think your life is over because they've sent you to jail for 20 years, 25 years. No, sir, your life is not over. You can use your years of jail prior to jail the reason why you got incarcerated to create a memoir for people that live the life that you live to know that this is not it. This is not the life they want to live. But it only took you 10 or 15 years of being incarcerated for you to switch that switch and be like this, is not it? 15 years of being incarcerated for you to switch that switch and be like this is not it. I can't believe I have absorbed all this information that told me violence was the way out, the gangster life was the way of success. Selling drugs is going to get me that million dollars. It's wrong. It's completely wrong. The universe, god, has created a path for everyone on this earth, but it is your job to have the will to accept that path and then fulfill it, and it might not be what you hoped it to be.

Jonathan: 1:05:03

Someone out there in this world is cutting grass. They became a millionaire off of cutting grass. You really think they woke up when they were 10 years old and told the world I'm going to cut grass and become a multi-millionaire cutting grass? No, but guess what? Now they're multi-millionaire. Now they have an llc. Now they're making millions of dollars in revenue every year. Now they can hire people and give those people opportunities. Because, you see, one thing I've learned about being in a position of power or having a business is that I am not just a user anymore, I'm not just a consumer anymore. I'm an employer. I'm giving opportunities back to people to feed their families, create a lifestyle, reach their goal and get them closer to their path. And get them closer to their path. So I believe that the universe has put me here on this earth to share my experiences, to share what I have been through. So if you guys are lost or if you guys are in a dark tunnel, I really hope that you can utilize me, my information, my life, to put a tiny, tiny, tiny light in that tunnel, so at least you know in what direction you're going. That is going to be my purpose in life. I want to say thank you again, like I said, to everyone who tuned in today.

Jonathan: 1:06:58

This is my third or fourth time recording this episode. I initially recorded it about a year and a half ago. A lot of things have happened during that time, going much time listening to me, a person they have never met, to give them inspiration to become the best version of themselves. Stay tuned for the next episodes. We're going to go over close protection. We're going to go over psychology. We're going to go over a combination of all those things and how we can utilize my experiences in life to make you better. On that note, have a good rest of your night and stay safe.